It all just goes to show how nothing I know changes me at all..

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 22:07:25 GMT

new journal..

http://www.livejournal.com/~you_shatter_me_/

How much longer will it take to cure this, just to cure it..cause I can't ignore it

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 00:35:17 GMT

after this entry, im thinking this journal will be friends only.. but i'm not sure yet.. i just don't really like the idea of certain people being able to read this.. we'll see i guess

so anywayss, this weekend was fucking awesome!!!!!!!! =). friday afternoon i came home for a lilttle while and talked to derek and sara.. and then sara and adam came and picked me upp, we stopped at contempo to get coffee and went to slip disk and got some free stufff ;-) thenn headed to our other homeee =).. made some fooood and then watched The Crow.. i fell asleep towards the end, and then we went too beddd.. woke up in the morning, josh was at work.. tried to get karen to make us some breakfast, but it didn't workk =(.. we convinced her to take us to providence place, and we were gonna make derek go, but he was skating already so we decided to just go get lunch and then come coffee in johnston.. while were eating i saw chris walking up and then i saw derek and i was like OH SHIT!, cuz they prob. thought we were stalking them or something.. but whateverrr, sara got up and said hi, i got up when i saw sean! and i gave him a hug.. he came and sat with us but the rest of them don't like us =(.. sean said he wouldn't marry me now cuz i have black hair, and from chris i got "ashley.. i don't like your hair".. derek didn't talk muchh :-\. but itss okkk, he was with his budss.. so they left and me, sara and karen went across the street to contempo.. we watched them skate for a little whilee, they left and we ran over to slip diskk.. karen bought some stuff, she got me the guster dvd for my birthday, even thought thats not til april =) =) =).. then we sat in contempo for an hour, or maybe two? and we talked to josephh =).. he said he liked my hair better black then the other colorss.. my mom tells me that everybody that says my hair looks good is lieing to me because it looks bad =\.. so we left contempo and headed back homee for when josh got back from workk.. we messed around, went on the computer, i watched the guster dvd (by myself =( ) and danced and sangg, and then laterr on we all layed down and watched shrek 2 =).. i fell asleep thoughh, of coursee.. so we woke up today early to josh making us breakfast =), and then went to the computer showww.. me and sara both got microphones, THANK GOD, and then we sat and talked into them for a whilee.. we were going outta our MINDS, there was a cute old man standing near us for a couple minutes, and he witnessed our crazyness and turned around and said "your mics are working good i can hear then ;-)" hahaha, it was funny.. then a little girl walked by and her hair was so static-y that all of it was sticking up, oh man it was great.. WISH we had a camera.. then went to visit sara's memere cuz its her birffday, then they brought me home =).. thee enddd.

yeah, its a long entry.. but i'm adding picture anyways

derek @ wendy's

seaniee poppins eeatinn @ wendy's.. kinda crappy picture cuz my phone is homo =)

i HAD to put this in here cuz its fucking hallarious, and she enjoys showing bad pictures of mee ;-)

aww, josh with our puppies =)

Karen in Contempo =).. wearing sara's USED sweatshirt ;-)

Those are the pictures of the most important people of my weekend <333 AND I LOVE THEM!!

I know where i belong, and nothings going to happen.

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 03:25:30 GMT

Is there a passionate way to have butt sex!?

DEFINATELY a classic moment right there, hahaha

so anyways.. i got home today and all i wanted to do was sit there and not move.. because i was up til 1 last night talkin to sean and derek on the telephonee.. and i was tiredd, but it was worth it =), they are funn.. but yeah, me and sara decided to go workk.. which was hard, cuz we were already in painn.. my lungs are screamin at me =(.. and my hands all blister-bruisedd.. and im shakkingg.. but oh well, we had fun again... we danced to the wiggles =).. and i pet fishys =), and held mousey'ss.. and worked a lottttttttt, and sang and yeahh..it was funnn <33... i came home and took a shower cuz i was all dirty and grosss, and now im sitting here talking to sara and derek =). wooooot. picture timeee.

yeah, so he was talking to two wicked cool people on the phone ;-)

yeah, so thats the shit we breathe when we work =\

yeppp, im wicked ghetto

sara, not so ghetto ;-)

i like my eyes in that, not that they're open?

YoU SHouLD LeT Me LoVE You*

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 02:44:14 GMT

umm.. so yesterday, i went to work with sara and adam.. and it was super funn <33.. i did a dance for sara and i got hyper and was running around and actually having fun doing work, even though it was hard and it hurt, and sara worked herself too hard so yelled at her =)... oh man, it was so weird esp. when we were trying to help adam throw out the crap.. and he scared me like 9823748273 times.. and then we were tired and i played with the mice and stufff.. and then the end.and today i stayed outta school, and talked to dan on the phone to daniel, and then went online and stuff.. and i watched white chicks and ocean skate.. and then i came online and stuff? and i dyed my hair again, and yeah.. now im on the telephone with derek and seanie poppins. cuz they're wicked cool :-).. and i <33 them.. cept derek's mean and keeps making fun of me, but thats ok because he is still my idol.. yeppp, ok im done.

I love everything about you, i can't help it if i feel this way..

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 23:37:07 GMT

ok, so yesterday i came home from school and went online, then watched ocean skate so i could see my idol and all his greatness ;-).. then i finished it, talked to marvin, sara, eric, and other people.. then adam picked me and sara up after work and brought us to sara's sister's housee =).. we got there and josh had left so no one was home and we were standing at the door screaming and kicking it, to find that nobody was even there.. so we hid and jumped out at josh when he came backk.. muahaha. then we hung out there and got to watched ocean skate, the crow, and scarface!! but i kinda fell asleep during scarface =(.. AND I LEFT IT AT THEIR HOUSE! luckily my brother has a copy too =).. so this morning we woke up and talked to karen and then josh brought us to Dunkin Donuts and then adam came and brought us homeee.. the moral of this story, we had lots and lots of fun when we visited our "home" =). the end.

Meeeee

yeah, so i look really bad.. but its a good picture

sa fighting with karen over brandon lee ;-)

yeah.. idk, im weird?

again.. im weird.

joshh.. my brother-in-law ;-).. almost, haha

KARENN!!.. my sister =).. almost

i WAS going to add a picture of my idol, but i don't think he'd like that very much ;-)

SARA SUCKS MY BALLS, AND BOY DOES IT FEEL GOOD..

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 17:26:54 GMT

im in school =). i didn't do anything all week, so i had no reason to updatee.. yesterday i wastched shrek 2 and see spot run, and thats about itttt.. so i forgot to mention about going to the mall last thursday, and i wanted to mention it because i got to hang out with josh =) =).. and met his girlll who is coool, melissa and dj are the only friends of josh's that i have EVER like, in our whole lives.. hahahaha, we walked around all the stores, i got my new purse and a new rainbow seatbelt belt.. its hottttttttt =).. anywayss, so yesterday i wanted to finish my dye, because mr. rooney made me start thinking about growing out my hair and making it brown, DAMN HIM. but yeah, i put blue in it.. and somehow it turned black!?! so my whole head is now black.. except some random parts that are brown, because i didn't have enough dye and it didn't get everywhere i guess.. but now all my dye is gone so we'll see what happenss.. no winterball for me and sara tonight, which is good because i don't think i would have too much fun seeing them together.. you may not know who i mean, but thats ok because if you don't already then you won't =).. and i don't want to waste all that money on going somewhere that i won't have much fun and i'll hate a lot of people there, so yeahh.. me and sara are sleeping at her sisters housee, we were going to go to the movies and hang out with ryan, but nooooo adam is busy so he can't pick us uppp.. =(.. we'll have fun with karen and josh though =).. i don't know what else im doing this weekend, watching ocean skate 92187491824 times =).. cuz im getting that todayyy =).. i don't get to talk to derek til sunday =(, no daily-dose of marvin for meee =(.. ohh well, as long as he has funn ;-).. haha, so anywayss the bells gonna ring soon so im outttt

I know I don't know you, but i want you.. so bad*

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 00:18:27 GMT

thursday was the show, which was fucking amazinnggg.. the boys did mighty-good =). me, sara and adam rode down there.. brandon was there and i gave him his present =).. and seanie poppins camee =).. NO DEREK ROONEY THOUGH! grrrrrrr. so anyways, we hung out there for a couple hours and it was pretty funn.. and then gathering shadows came on =) =).. they were awesome, as usualll.. when they were done we headed to wendy's and sa and adam got some food and then we went homeee. friday me, adam, eddie, and sara went to warwick to meet up with sara's sister and brother-in-law (karen and josh).. we all headed down to dave and bustersss <33.. =) we stayed there for like 6 hours!!!! =) it was sooo much funnnn!!! the jet-ski's were DEFINATELY my favorite ;-).. that up and down motion ;-)... "I bet you were picture you and lickety-split on that".. haha, oh yeah sara ;-).. and the car's were fun toooo.. and crazy taxi, and the coin thingsss, and the ski-ball, and the motorcycless, and everythinggg =).. i got 2002 ticketss, so i got some stuffed animals and some other stufff =).. we were going to walk around providence after, but we decided to just go homeee.. =), which was alsooo verryyy funn.. THEY ARE WHACK! hahahaha.. crazy kids, ;-). today we went out to dinner with the familyy <33... sara's dad won $410!! luckkyy!, and now im home.. and waiting for sara and adamm =) and talking to derek and iann. woot woot... i have A LOT of pictures.

anthonyyy

adam

ANDREW!!!! =)

RYRY!!!

mike

my mousey + mystery machine from dave and busterss =)

yeah, you know thats the cutest thing EVER!.. another stuffed animal from D&B

ANOTHER stuffed animal from D&B, which im naming.. MARVIN! =), muahaha

yeah, don't askkk

yeah, we're losers =)

hahahahaha

talent right there =)

not as much talent ;-).. justt kiddingggg, haha

Please don't wake me up, you're such a perfect dream..

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 03:39:49 GMT

today, sara was here all day.. we didn't do anything though cept. watch the backstreet boys =). woooot!! tomorrow = shopping and then GATHERING SHADOWS!!!!!!!!! =) =) =) =) =). and hopefully hanging out with some peopleee thereee =). i can't waiitttt!!!! =). mmmm. and i gotta bring my perfume for derek, hahaha. what a weirddoooo. =)

picture ryan took ferr me todayy =)

hahaha thats right, i had him put on the chain and made him smile

sean at the mall yesterday, hahaha

Sa N Seanie-Poppinsss

Me + my new fishy.. either named Lickety-Split orrr Marvin.. idk yett, suggestions!?

You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong.

Wed, 29 Dec 2004 04:34:22 GMT

lassst nighhtt, adam came and picked me up and then we went and picked up sara lynn, and we headed down to contempoo. <33.. we hadn't been there in a whileee. so we got there and nicole, erika, and shire were there =).. adam bought us coffees, mmm they were excellent, as usuall.. we just hung out there for a while, i went crazyyy with sara's camera thoughh.. and i did it more when we got back to my homee... then this morning i woke up to the phone ringing and it was nikole, asking if we wanted to go to the mall with her today, so i said suree, cuz i miss her and haven't seen her in ages.. and yes, i know thats my fault, but idkkk.. so she came and picked us up and then derek drove and we went and picked up matt and then headed to the providence place malll.. in hot topic we saw mr. derek rooney, said hi and such but didn't really talk to himmm.. thennn i heard people saying my name so i said what and they said SEAN was there! so i went out and gave him a huggg.. so we hung out with them ferr the rest of the timee.. it was funn =). then we had to leave =(, so we went back to nikole's house and ate some ice cream cake =) and thenn went to wendy's and then the pet storee.. i got a new fish =). almost got another mouse, but im gonna wait, now im gonna show some of the 9238489234 picturess =)

me at contempo with my coffee =)

me, sa, and adamm.. hahaha

yeah, so adam looks REALLY creepy in that one =)

idk why, but i think my hair looks super-cool

me touching the manikin's bum =)

this one's a little blurry, but its funnayy.. sean's making fun of me ;-)

picture sean took of me and sa, i think it looks cool how its blurred

me and nikole, in the car leaving the mall

thats the last picture for today, i have lottss more so i'll just keep posting them like i usta doo.. <3

cannddyyy girrrl, you are my worldd

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 22:54:46 GMT

yesterday some of the family came over and we had dinner and suchhh, then they all left and i was supposed to go to sara's sister's but noooooooo!!! haha, yeahh.. so not much happened, but i wanted to add some picturess..

haha, yeah you know shes cute ;-).. all of the above were from christmas eve

yepp, thats me "just chillin" as ian says, on christmass

iannnn babbyyy <33

CRiMSON AND CLOVER

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 02:33:07 GMT

yeah, so tuesday adam picked us up from school and we hung out and stufff.. then we went to the warwick mall for a little whileeee.. wednesday there was a basketball game and me and sara got there early and walked around, talked to mike, and some other peopleee.. then dan got there and we hung out with him all night, idk.. it was weird. soo yeahhh, sara slept over on wednesday and on thursday we hung out and did some stuff.. then danielle asked me to sleep overrrr.. so i went to danielles houseee =), sammie brought us to AV and we hung out with sean, andrew, eric, derek, and ryann(who was mighty hott that night). we walked around a bunch.. went to mcdonalds where danielle became a mom, i became and aunt, and ryan became an uncle ?.. haha, yeah.. don't ask =) then we went and sat in fronta subway and talkeeddd. i wanted to talk to ryan more but im shy =(.. hahaha, but i had funnn.. i love danielle, sean and andrew <333. so then me and danielle went home and went online and stuff then we watched my boss's daughter, which we saw in the theater like 98237423 years agooo. and then we went to bed, slept in jesse's room.. and then got up and had some more fun =). hahahaha. yepppp. then mommy came and picked up up, i got ready and such and we headed to my aunt's house and had christmas eve.. stayed there then went home.. woke up and sat around, opened some presents.. then got ready and went to my uncle's housee.. then came home with josh =) =) =). right now im sitting here, josh just got off the phone with melissa, and im listening to some music and talking to ryan, ian, josh, danielle and saraaa. ok, but im gonna end this cuz ryan is rushing me and saying im taking a long time, so the end =). HAPPY!? :-P hahahaha

me and danielle, taken by jesse on our way to dinnerrr <3.. i look really bad and FAT, but oh wellll =)

my sisters <3

Please don't let it go.*

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 02:43:57 GMT

This weekend was nice and relaxinnggg =). friday was battle of the bands =) =) =).. nicole came to school and picked me and sara up, which was awesome cuz i miss nicooleeee =(. and we went to sara's house, then my home, then nicoles houseee.. and then we went down to greenville to hitt up cvss.. and thenn we went to battle of the bands.. we got there kinda early, we hung out with andy and sean and colton at random times.. then we saw dan's mommy and waved and she pointed out the door cuz dan was there so we ran to himmm. =). and hung out with him all nighhttt.. me and sara were in a realllyyy weird mood and mike gave us some papers to hang up so we ran around and i just handed them out and sara put them on windows?.. then we talked to anthony and adam and i got a little tap in the face from anthony, haha.. i thought he had something for me =(, i fell for it.. ohh welll.. so yeah, saw danielle, kayla, sean, andrew, jake, john, matt, colton, bobby, chad, dylan, kayla, bryan, ryry, anthony, mike, other mike, pat, other other mike, eric, ryan, tyler, and everyone else in the school ;-)..then we went in, dylan came and gave us hugs, but.. yeahh.. i sat between dan and chadd but i talked to sara and kayla lottsss =).. then after intermission i sat between dan and colton.. it was awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. GATHERING SHADOWS came on and they were f-ing hottttt. good job boyss =). so then it ended and me, kayla, and dan stood outside.. idk where sara was??.. but then dan had to leave so we said bye and me and kayla roamed, then me, kay and sara went onto the stage and talked to andy, ryan, sean, anthony, adam and bryann.. bryan embarrassed me =(.. but its alll goood.. hahaha, we went to leave and i JUMPED on andrew and then sara gave anthony a hug? so then he gave me a hug =). and then me, sa and kayla allll went in adam's car and headed to contempooo =). hung out there til kayla had to go homee, and we brought her home and then went home and went to bedd =). saturday we watched movies all day =). it was nicccccccceeeeeeee.. we watched a christmas story, elf, annddd the grinchh!. then wrapped some presents and waited for adam and erika to come pick us up.. we hung out at contempo and then went home.. today we watched the crow =). it was a good movie, and then did nothing =). right now i SHOULD be doing my art homework, but ehhh.. im a slackkerr

Lost in everything about you </3

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 21:34:03 GMT

alrite, so i have to start back at Friday cuz im lazy and forget to write in here.. lets see now, friday me and sara went to the movies, dan couldn't go though.. but we got to hang out with sean =) =). we got COMPLETELY soaked and then went to dangelo's and chris gave us some free soda and chips and suchh.. then we went back to the movies and hung out til adam got there and then we brought sean home and headed to the smithfield ice rink for hockeyy.. well, more like just to see dan.. haha, and so we hung out with him til the game was over, it was a good time.. at least i got to see him for a little while since he didn't go to the moviesss.. then me and sara went to my house and slepttt. saturday mother and i went shopping for danielle's christmas present, =).. got her some cookie monster pajamas, muahaha. then she brought me to her house afterr. sean went to danielle's too, so i got to hang out with him twicceee =). we had hannukah dinner and presents and suchh.. then we went to bring sean home and rented a moviee to watch on danielle's newww tv+dvd playerr. we got 13 going on 30, oh man it was a good movie!!! i <3'ed ittt!!!!. then we went to sleeep. woke up in the morning at like 8-ish and went with her dad to temple to help with the little kids =). they were so cuuuteeee!!!! then we went to a chinese marketplace thing or something? then went home and hung out for a while, washed our hair and all that good stufff, lit the candles and then went out to dinner for jesse's birthday =). it was yummmyyyyyyy. and fun =), butt! they brainwash you in the bathroom! hahahaha. then sammie and jesse brought me home and that was that. monday i didn't do anything.. yesterday dan had a basketball game so me and sara wenttt. they won, which means maybe i'm not bad luck ;-). alicia and becky were there too, but i didn't really talk to them too much.. we hung out with pat and talked to colton, bobby and ryan randomly. after we tried calling laurie but there was no cooperation, so dan's mom said she would bring us home.. so we got dan and me and dan got in the back =) =) =).. i love dan's mommy soo muchhh <333, we had her bring us to sara's cuz it was closer, got to sara's.. fought with my mom </3 then sat around and had some funn. then mommy and norman brought me homee. today im not planning on doing anything, just hanging around and stuff.. school was kinda boring except a few highlights, and sara stayed home! =(. now, i can't wait til friday cuz i want to see dan, and go to battle of the bands and see gathering shadows =).

..I couldn't bear to hurt you*

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 03:59:52 GMT

R.I.P. "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott, 1966 ~ 2004

tuesday, adam picked us up from school and we went to my house and he typed up a paperr.. and then he said he wasn't gonna go to school so we went to conn. and tried to get sa's tongue pierced but things got messed up =(. then we went to the store cuz we hadta get danielle a fishy for her mommy, and we got my mousey =) =) =), hehe.. and then we brought her the fishy and i walked in and made everyone scream =) haha.. dropped off sara, came to my house, adam set up the cage and leftt... then i played with my mousey =).. hes sooo cuuteeee!!! yeppp =).. wednesday sara didn't come to school =(.. i saw dan at the buses, well before them and he walked me over there =).. and then later me and sa decided to go to the girl's game to get outta the house.. dan came =) hung out with him, mike, lucas, andy, jake, other people? it was funnnn =).. got some pictures of dan, and i thought mike, but i guess nottt.. they were all being goof-balls, as usual.. =) =). i <3 them. then we went home, and i did nothing =). today, i did nothing =).. well i wrapped dan and dylan's presents =). yeppp.

little josh on the bus =)

sara and josh, with his little six pack ;-)

josh and jake.. picture sara took?

this was one of my FAVORITE pictures, EVER

josh in my mudvayne shirt, kinda sideways, but im lazy =)

pretty josh =)

me and joshua scott*

another of my favorites =), josh and lindsey

aww, my two cuties =).. haha

can you say.. DORKS?.. =)

josh and jake =).. how cuuuteee =)

yeah, so ladies and gentlemen, there are more to be seen.. just not at the moment ;-).. you know you love it ;-)

There's a pain that sleeps inside, it sleeps with just one eye and awakens the moment that you leave

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 02:47:57 GMT

so friday ryan came and picked me and sara up and we went to the church to pick up his drumss.. adam was there and we all got the stuff so they could put it in their cars.. then we went to ocean skate, which was a good time.. good job guys!! met up with daniel there =).. anndd saw SEANIE!, dylan, tyler, ryan, andrew, jake (who by the way decided to hump me?), eric, doug, chad, kayla, other people? it was fun, but dan wouldn't listen to me and sldkjfhaklsjdfhakf. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT HIM AND.. GRRRRR. then it ended and we went outside, dan's mom was there but he waited with us for my mom and then i gave him like 29347 hugs and went in the car.. and mother brought me and sara to our home and we waited for adam to come and get uss.. we stopped by cumby's and visited ross and russ, and saw nicole, erika and shire.. so we all headed to contempo and hung out for a little whilee.. me, sa and adam were all really tired though so we came home early and sleptt.. saturday adam only had work til 4 so he came and got us and we went to his house and played around on the computer, then we called daniel and told him we were gonna stop by, so we did.. talked to him for a couple minutes =) =). then we headed to johnston and went to contempo, dave was there!!!!!! i miss himmmm, he gave me a hug and all the good stuff.. joe was working and they were being weirdos but then dave hadta go get his girlfriend, yeah thats weird that he has one, but anyways joe talked to us a bunch =). "...i want her" mmmhm, he may have been joking but DAMN that was a nice thing to hear! nicole, sarah and nicoles friend brian showed up.. they were fun =). i <3 nicole very muchh =).. brian sat on me? hahaha.. it was funny.. after a while we decided to go bug mat at work =). there weren't any sample cups for coffee so he gave me a big one =) and then adam got us some yummy snackss =). today me and sara watched the grinch =) and then i slept =). the end.

me and joshua scott <333. i look really funny but its ok because im with josh so this deserves to be in here =).. i missss youuu joshh </3

hahahaha, me and sara @ josh's house, with the teddy bear that jess gave me <3

us with jake =).. who we haven't seen in like, yearss.. and yeah, he's growing up!! =(, oh how things change.

Sara and joshua <33

I wanted to comment, but things just got all mixed up in me and im not sure i can... i miss you so much josh, i love you.. and i have now decided that im going to scan some old pictures and put them up in here, good ol' times <3

I'll do my best to hold on **

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 03:04:12 GMT

i didn't get to update yesterday so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA!!!!! =).. adam picked us up yesterday and we went to russ's for a couple minutes, then to adam's and then we headed to JOSH'S HOUSE =) =) =) =).. i miss those kids so much, i don't think i could ever explain to anyone how much i do, and i KNOW sara feels the same way.. just seeing them felt so good, and made me so happy.. but at the same time i wanted to cry because of what i lost and how much i want that back and wish i could live in the past sometimes.. but me and sara are going to kidnapp the three of them =). haha. right sa ;-) i got to see jess, who i haven't seen in a while, and jake who i haven't seen since they f-ing moved.. they're all growing up =). how cute, hahaha. jess gave me like 238472384 things, and i got hugs from josh and jake, and went and looked around their house, and talked to mommy and don, and saw the new puppy, and chandler who is MIGHT fat!!!! he was so skinny before, i STILL can't believe it, oh mann. yeah, so after a little while we UNFORTUNATELY had to leave, it was so saddddddddd.. and me and sara got in the car and both cried til we got to the mall and got out in the parking lot and hugged and cried, but i wanted to stop so i laughed and stuff.. idk, i guess everything just came back when i actually saw them all.. i usually try not to think about it, it hurts too much.. ok, i need to stop before i cry again... umm, so anyways, we went to the mall and got dan and dylan their christmas presents =) and then we went homeee.. today i was supposed to go to danielles, but shes sick =( [feel better =)] and during math pat informed me of a middle school basketball game and said i should go.. so me and sara went there and hung out with pat and watched daniel play =) =) =). hes extremely good at that gammeee. but stupid f-ing girls were being stupid and annoying and i wanted to KIllLLlL themm =). i couldn't help watching how retarded they were, but pat made me stop cuz he said it just got me maddd.. we lost =( but when the game was over i got to see dan =) =).. and we went outside so i could use the phone but my phone was being gay, and i had to ask dan's daddy to use his cell phone, sccarrrryyyy!!!! and then we went back in and waited for dan to finish changingg.. and talked to him for a couple minutes, then said bye =( and walked over to the high school.. came home, dyed our hair (again) then adam came and they went bye bye =(.

sometime soon, hopefully, i will post some pictures up in hurr of us at josh's house with the boy's and suchh.. we'll seee =).

<> I can't lie and say I'm fine <>

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 18:16:19 GMT

so we get outta school last wednesday to see ross standing over near the auditorium, and he asked if we wanted a ride hom.. so we went and hung out with him all night.. went to go see Alexander (the movie ;-) ), it was kinda boring and long, but it was THREE HOURS OF JARED LETO, yeah.. thats right bitch. hott shit right thereeee. mmmhm, he was gay in it, but thats ok because he was STILL hott. =). so then adam met up with us and brought sara home, and ross brought me home.. and then we talked, and yeah. thursday, went to my uncle's house and played with the little ones, sang with them and suchh, then JOSH CAME =) =). we ate some food and then walked down to my house and hung out there for a while.. sara and adam called, and they came and picked us up.. we headed to adam's uncle's house and ate again!, josh seemed to fit right in with the fam ;-). after we ate we all played with the little kids =). they're so f-ing cuteee!, and Quinn's my new boyfriend =), so according to our math last night, i have 4 boyfriends ;-).. then i suppose adam got a message from ross? so we went and picked him up and went to hang out at contempooo. =). i didn't feel good after a while though :-\. then they brought us home around midnighhttt, and josh went right to the computer so me and sara went to beddd. we woke up and josh went homee, so we hung around all day, tried to figure out how we could get to the movies.. norman said he'd bring us =)=)=).. so we got ready and waited for norman to come, and squeezed in his truck, kinda uncomfortable ;-). hahaha. and then we got to the movie, walked to cvs and hung out.. then we found dan =)=)=), i hadn't hung out with him in like TWO WEEKS! it was horrible! (to not see him, that is).. and we walked around for a bit and then me, sa, daniel, and colton went into the moives.. went to see spongebob =). oh man, i couldn't stop smilingggg =) =), dan is so F-ING CUTE. jsdhkjsahdfkljhdlakjshgd. mmmhmm =). "WHAT WAS THAT???!!" hahaha, sara.. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!. dan left during the movie to see sean and wasn't going to come back =(, but he came back during the end and stuffff. =).. then we walked around for a while and stuffff... but then dan had to go =( so we went to contempo and hung out with nicole and sarahh.. then they dropped me off, and sa went to her homee.. saturday i went to danielle's house and we hung out, got dropped off at sean's house and hung out with him, eric and andy for a whileee =). then sammie came and got uss.. we hung out some more and then went down to burrillville for the hockey game.. hung out with steve and chrisss.. went home, went to sleep and all thatttt... then sunday we cleaned up danielle's room, made it COMPLETELY empty =). we're good like that ;-). it was funnnn being carpenters ;-). then after, i went home and sara and adam caem and got me, sara gave me my christmas presents.. a HIM shirt, an atreyu shirt, 30 seconds to mars sweatshirt, and perfumeee.. we went to cumberland farms and visisted ross at cumberland farms and suchh... =). then end. =)

..it feels it would be easier to fall than to flutter in the air with these wings so weak and torn

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 18:55:22 GMT

yeah, so much for writing more often... i haven't written in a while and some shitt has happened ;-). thursday we were supposed to go to mr. cheiftan, but we couldn't so we went to contempo for a little while and hung out with a bunch of people.. then friday we didn't go to the movies cuz dan, dylan and josh all weren't going, so we waited for adam to get outta work and we hung out with him.. we went to contempo and hung out with ross there, then me and sara went to my house.. we split cars, i went with ross and sara went with adam.. ross hit his head when he was getting in and then he fell ;-). it was funnnnyyy. so yeah, we drove and talked and stuff. saturday we wanted to go to the mall, but mother wouldn't take us.. so adam and ross came and got us and we went to emerald :). we met up with russell, erika, and shire there tooo.. we all ended up separating after a little while though, so me and ross walked around and went into yankee candle and such.. cuz hes a weirdo ;-). then we all met back up and decided to go hang out at contempo. ross and shire kept fighting over the couch, it was pretty funny. and quite strange, i can tell ross was really tired. then adam brought me home and sara slept over againn. sunday adam skipped youth group and we went to hang out at cumberland farms for a bit with ross.. he took a break to chilll with us.. and then we went to contempo, and i called dan =)=)=).. i hadn't talked to him in like a week or so, it was nice =). school monday, and thats about it i believe.. i can't really rememberr. yesterday, went to school and had to stay after to make up a stupid quiz for math :-\. sara's mom was comming to get us at 3:30, so we went over to the middle school and saw dan =)=)=). we went in his locker and went through it, he said we could of course.. and i took his hat cuz its cool and says "SmaSh it Up". then we went to sara's house, and waited for adam and stuff.. then went to look for joe's little karate place, and we found it but we didn't go in cuz joe was already inside and stufff. then we went to putnam and picked up nicole and lindsey to bring them homeee. umm.. yeah :).. i can't wait until tomorrow, josh might be able to come and sleep over =) =) =). i misssss himmmmmmmmm!!!!!! right now im in accounting and its louddd! and my nose hurts, and so does my eyebrow ring cuz mr. hicks just came and visited and he walked by and hit my hat down!! hahaha.. silly boyy.

<>The pain arrives and hurts like a twist of a knife.<>

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 16:42:19 GMT

LET ME START OFF BY SAYING, SINGERS ARE SO F-ING HOTT. <33 mmmm =)

and yeah, jared leto looks EXTREMLY hott in my background <333. mmmmhhmmm. I'd hop on that shit =).

alrriteee now, im sick of writing such long entries so ima try and write more often. we'll see what goes down though. sooo anyways, monday sara came over and we hung around.. we watched the used dvd for a couple hours. JARED LETO IS IN IT <33. and bert is wearing a 30 seconds to mars sweatshirt, which i am getting from sara for chistmas =) =) =). woooot. then we hung out more, had QUITE an interesting conversation with my mother and her boyfriend, it was rather disturbinggg. then adam came and got her and i did nothing =). tuesday i went to school and then adam picked up me, sara, and danielle and brought me and danielle to danielles home :). it wasss funnnnnnnn <333. sean called and danielle told him that i ditched her, it was funnnyy :). hahaha. then we ate some food and hung around and waited for steve to come over.. we went outside and did some random things, we played ballerina <3. hahaha, that was wicked funnnayy. and we sand/danced to some backstreet boys.. then steve came and we walked around the pong, after i went int he goats barn thingy so i could see the bunny, but it was scary cuz the goats were gonna eat me!!!!!!!!! we played ballerina for steve too, and he kept asking us if people ever tell us that we are weird, and of course.. they do =). hahaha. thenn sara called and said they were on their way, and she came and we were walking out to the car and i heard "AREN'T YOU COLD!?!?" and i screamed cuz i saw ross =) =). that was a plesant surprise.. haha, and he was very tired so we made fun of him lots and suchh.. and i told him that i was pregnant with his baby and that i had sex with him in his sleep. muahaha. im very sneaky =), yeah yeah ya know it ;-). and shockingly, he went along with it and joked about it when i was saying that i did other stuff in his sleep and he would say stuff like "was that before or after?" haha, it was a grannddd ol' time ;-). yeah, so i must say that yesterday was an EXCELLENT day. <333 i loved it.

..GONNA BE YOUR SAVIOR*

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 19:05:43 GMT

yeah, so this weekend was fun :). friday night me and sa went with adam and visited apple valley.. we brought sean home and then brought dan and dylan to contempo and hung out for the night :) :). the boys kept laughing at me in the back cuz i was dancing and singing, hahaha..it was funn.. i love being with them <33. all 4 of them. we saw josh and his friend kevin, or kalvin ;-). hahaha. and joe was there for a bit :). it got really snowy so we hadta leave and brought dan and dylan to dylan's housee. then we headed to adam's to meet up with ross and we all went downstairs to watch some good ol' tv. i peed first though cuz i hadta pee so bad that it hurt =). we all made fun of the tv the whole time tho, it was fun <33. i love being with ross when hes being fun like that, it was like constant laughing.. until he was falling asleep of course.. then we went out in the trailer where it was freeezzzinggggg. woke up to ross banigng on the fricken trailer and he came in and told us to come inside cuz it was warmer, and he made a path for us to walk so we didn't step in all the snow <33. hes so f-ing cute sometimes. then me and sa went inside and watched some tv and i sang to everything, muahaha. then we went out and played in the snow :). we played catch and pretended we had to dive to catch all the balls, but i kinda hurt my shoulders. :-\. they still kinda hurt when i do certain things, but its ok.. i'll take it like a man. =). we came inside and changed and layed down some more, and then hadta go homeee. later my mommy brought us down to smithfield for sean's party. it was wicked funnn. i got to see zack, who i haven't seen in foreverrr <33. i love that kidd. CEPT HE PUSHED ME IN THE SNOW THREE TIMES AND MY ASS WAS FREEZING. i saw nick, sean(obviously), dan, dylan, doug, dan s., ryan, robb, zack, ryan, andy, ray, and other people =). hahaha. GATHERING SHADOWS played and they were fucking awesome, as usual. i love those boyysss. GO AND SEE THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, you won't regret it ;-). anywayysss.. adam came and got us and then brought us to my home and me and sa slept thereee.. sunday we didn't do muchh, cleaned my room and other shittt. and today sara's comming over again. =). the end.

Love is not like anything, especially a fucking knife </3 SARA <3

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 23:15:27 GMT

let me just say, the concert was fucking amazing. <333. I loved it soo muchh.

tuesday adam got outta school and picked me and sa up.. and then we went to go get rosss. :). ross drove from there and we headed to the Palladium. i hadta pay for parking so i almost didn't get a shirt, but sara payed 10$ and ross payed 5$ so i could get one :). well really sa, dylan, and ross all payed 5, but shhh. ;-). so a couple opening bands came on, they were alrite.. they were fun to make fun of :) :). then, the fucking used came on. it was awesome. ross and adam enjoyed themselves, but i think me and sa were a little too crazy for them. muahaha. our throats hurt so bad after that from singing and screaming and suchh, but it was fucking worth it GODDAMNIT. yeppp :). so it ended and ross brought us home, got home around 12:30 and went to bed cuz fucking school the next day.. wednesday adam hadta work i believe, so we went out after that and went to contempoo. then slept in the trailerr. we slept 13 hours :), it felt mighty gooodd. then woke up and ate, and watched some tv til we hadta leave. adam thought he had school, even though it was a holiday, so we went home.. just to find he didn't have school so we went to russell's house and tried to get rosss. they were playing video games, Halo 2 of course, so we hadta wait a little.. and they both hadta take showerss.. erika came over <33. :). then around like 6:30 we headed out, went to putnam cuz we had to get nicole and bring her home, but we were early so we went to walmart to visit amanda :). we found these horse thingys and rose around them. hehe. "ASHLEY GET OFF YOUR GONNA GET IN TROUBLE" ::walmart man walkes by:: ~>>"I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING".. hahaha, that was fucking halarious.. we left walmart, got nicole and brought her home and then got ross's car and went down to johnston.. they were all hungry so we went to wendys and called russ and erika over so we all hung out there.. russell looked very pretty cuz erika did his hair and he looked like a girrrrl :). "if i had cleavage right now it would be sticking out!" hahaha. what a silly boy. then we went home :). woke up late for school today, so i went in at 10:30 and found no sara :(. then came home and talked to some people. dan and dylan called so i talked to them. talked to erika and decided we all were moving to mexico cuz snow sucks and we hate it <3. thenn talked to sara and got ways to the movies and all that good stuff. but dan's gonna be a butt cuz he was a bad kid and just called me saying "im sorry" before anything, and yeahhh. :-\. ohhh wellll.

[[ Sometimes when you're holding on you'll never see the light ]]

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 14:12:27 GMT

:) :). yesterday sara came over and we hung out for a while.. i made her listen to the B-52's and Atreyu danced and sang for her and suchh.. it was some great funn.. she laughed at me :). then adam came and got us so that we could go to strawberries and get our tickets for the concert tonight :).. thennnn we headed to contempo and saw joseph :), got some coffeeeeeee.. then went to cumbies and saw ross and tell him we got his ticket and all that stufff.. hmm... then we went to mcdonalds and ate some yummy food :-D. ate, headed to foster and stopped at lucky's to talk to joejoe. we got to play games :). haha. hmmm.. then we went to russells house to talk to auntie leslie :). had to go to boys scouts for a bit after and we did just that.. got to see mat :-D. and then went back to russells again, and thennnnnn adam brought us home and i came home and played with my mom's new cell to teach her how to use it :).

TONIGHT = THE USED, BITCH.

<> How can it be your asking me to feel the things you never show <>

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 15:26:28 GMT

i dont remember a lot of last week cuz my memory is shot.. so im just gonna go with friday :).. so me and sara went to the movies, hung out with sean and bobby.. saw danielle and steve ;-). and other peopleee.. me and sara decided to actually go in the movie, cuz there was no dan or dylan :( :( :(. so we got ticket for the grudge and had bobby get one too so he could come in with us :). we called dan when we were in mcdonalds and talked to him for a while :) :). later me, sara and bobby all went in the movie.. ray and his girl came and sat with uss.. holy shit that movie was FREAKY. bobby was cutting off the circulation in my arm cuz he was so scared, and we were all like freakkkedddd..haha, it was greattt. then the movie ended and adam came and got us :). adam hadta bring sean home, and he was freakin out, it was funny though.. hahaha.. he claimed he saw different colors every time he saw us.. and he kissed me, hahaha. umm.. then we went to contempo and hung out with everyonee.. sara and ross talked :-\ :). he said he was gonna talk to me in the car but i ended up going with adam.. ross slept over with us :) :). the whole night he made the freaky grudge noise, it was scaryyy.. then we had to sleep in the trailer :-0 ahhh!!!!. so saturday we woke up and worked.. ross and adam went off the get stuff for their cars and all that.. ross and adam came back and then we went homeee.. dan called me while i was getting outta the car at my house, and me and sa wanted to go to his basketball game but we didn't think we could get rides and all that.. so we just went to the movies with dan, colton and codyy.. :) saw the grudge again, but it wasn't as scary this time cuz the boys wouldnt be quite >:0. and dan kept making fun of me cuz i jumped a lot and i had already seen the moviieee. we got outta the movie and adam came and got us.. we had to bring sean home so me, dan, sean, and colton hadta squeeze in the back til we got to sean's houseee.. we brought an and colton to contempo :) :) :) :). we got to see nicole, russell, erika, shire, keith and laura. hahahaha mazen poked dan in the belly and dan was like "what the helllll??" haha it was so funnnnyyy. so then we brought them to dans house and me and sa slept in the trailer againnn. sunday we went home and i watched inuyasha all day and slept and stuff.. i felt like crap all day, don't know why but yeahhhh. so today im at school, and me and sara are excited(well shes FLIPPING OUT) cuz we're going to see THE USEDD!!! tomorrow. wooooooooooooooooooot. yeah thats right mother fuckers I AM GOING TO SEE THE USED AND YOU ARENT.. THAT RIGHTS IM GONNA LET YOU ALL KNOW TOMORROW OHJ YEAH 'spdifj wakther <~~ yeah so that was sara :) :). shes very excited.. its gonna be WICKED fun :) :). we might bring dylan too :) :). oh man i can't waiiitttt.. sara will puke i bet ;-). shes gonna like die of having an orgasm when she sees them. hahahahaha. i dunno if adam will be able to take it though, hes not good with loud stuff :-\. muahahaha :) :). besides us though :).

<> My stars have fallen from the sky <>

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 23:55:24 GMT

ok so i haven't updated in quite some time, and i feel i should, but this may be longgg.. and im feeling a lotta picture commin too :) :). don't read it if you don't want to, thats alll im sayinggg. so anyways, friday me and sara went to the movies to hang out, unfortunatly there was no dan, dylan, or bobby :(. they all went to the dance and it wasn't the same without them :(. we hung out with sean, soule, colin, ray, lucas, kara, other people?. i saw ryan and tyler there and gave ryan a hug :). they are so cuteee!. after hanging out there, adam got us and we went to contempo. joe was still there <3333. oh babbbyyyy. he asked us to go do the trash with him so we did, and we sat at his car for like 20 minutes talking to him. he said if we made out with him it woulda made his birthday, and i told him it woulda made mine too, even though it wasnt my birthday, but oh welll :). hahaha. then he said it was too bad that im only 16 cuz we coulda went in the back of his car ;-) ;-). so i told him i was just kidding and that im 18, but it didn't work :(. so we talked a while and then he was departing so he hugged sa and said she smelt good and then hugged me and smelt me and said it was the hair and stuff. ahh hes so hottttttttttt. so yeah, we hung out there, ross showed up :) :) :) :) :) :) :). we ran and hugged him when he got there cuz we miss himmm. dave came at some point in the night. nicole was there <3. she was sick though :(. but we love her and miss herrr. <3. erika, ross, nicole, russ, keith, shire, laura, meg.. they were all there. so we decided to head home, ross asked to sleep over <3 :) :). so we got to adams and me and ross layed down and sara and adam were upstairs talking.. we fell asleep i guess, cuz adam and sa had to wake me up to go to the trailer. we slept, and adam didn't wake us up again, but i woke up at 8:30 so it was all good.. we worked and let the boys sleep, but we talked a lot during the day, and while we just happened to be talking about ross he popped his head in the door.. but luckily he says he didn't hear us or anything.. so the rest of the day he was being rather nice, it was cool. i miss him so muchh. sara talked to him i guess, so later i called him and left a message saying we needed to chat, but i have a feeling it won't happen, like usual. but idk. so i got home and called danielle and she came over, then andy came over, and ryan came over. big ol' parrtayyy. me and danielle got ready and ryan drove us all to the halloween party, which was WICKED fun. me and danielle decided to make a billy fan club <3. hahaha, hes old but its all good ;-). we got some helium and played with it a lot :) hahaha. and we ended up getting a lotta drinks, so the lady gave me one freee, and we had to fix our make up a buncha timeess! but it was hotttttt shit. lots of people, people we didn't even know, came up and took pictures of us and they said they liked our costume. my aunt voted for us for best costume so we pretended we won :). haha. once again im gonna say, it was WICKED fun. <3<3<333. yeppp. so we came home and passed out cuz we were wicked tired, and woke up and dropped her off at home.. me and mother went to bj's.. saw dave and joe outside :). anddd ross at work :). haha.. later sara came over, and so did adam and i changed into my nylons cuz they were hott.. anddd sean and andy came over :). Dan and colin came down tooo.. sean and dan got drunk, but we said no cuz we didn't want to, and then dan was all over me askin me to hook up but i said no, and then he was all over courtney, so idk. thenn after a while we headed to russ's house and hung out with russ, erika, sean, shire, mokika, ross, mat, and kim. mat looked pretty as a girl :). hmm.. ross wasn't there at first but we went outside when he got there and i got on sara's back and we ran to him and he hugged us while i was on her back, haha.. then he told me all about his natural pain killers in his brain and how that is the reason he acts so stupid.. hahahha [[ "LOOK OVER THERE" ::we all look where he pointed:: ::he knocks over the trash can:: ]], hahaha fucking crackhead, he thought that was halariouss. so yeah, umm.. then around 10:30 we headed home cuz school the next dayy. monday night me, sa and adam hung out and went to contempo then me and sa slept in the trailer. dan got me a HIM sticker :) :) :) :) :). its fucking hottt. and he got sara a USED patch ;-). she was quite exciteddd. umm.. yeah, my mind just farted :)

me, ally, effie, danielle

danielle, me

idk why but i think this picture is funny

me and my face done by danielle ;-). haha

danielle.. hahahaha.

"HOW!" .. you'd have to be there to get it.

sticker dan got me :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Inuyasha.. :)

.I'm trapped again in endless rain.

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 12:39:05 GMT

WE MISSED JOE YESTERDAY AND IT WAS HIS F-ING BIRTHDAY!!. GRRRRRRRRRR. IM HELLA-PISSED, NOT TO MENTION SOMEONE TOOK MY HAT. BITCHES.

ok, so yeah.. i haven't written in a while, i don't even know the last thing i wrote abouttt. most likely the weekend, so i'll just say that umm.. tuesday we got to see Sean :) :) :). it was soo sooo soooooooo cool, cuz we were told that he couldn't come.. but we had a feeling they were just tricking us, we know them very well ;-). so we said we were gonna pretend that they were, even if they weren't so that we could be excited, since we miss sean. :).. adam came and got me and sara, but there was no sean :(. walking to the car i was like "hey adam, can we pretend that sean's with us?" and he made fun of mee.. then we got to the truck and i looked for him, but i still couldn't see anything, but thennnnnnnnnn......... i saw a big lump of blankets and i felt it and it was sean!!!!!!!! :) :). hahahaha. me and sa were verrryyy excited... so yeah, we went and hung out at contempo and it was great fun :). sean's daddy came and got him and i gave him a hug and chatted with him :). thennnn we came homee. we didn't go out wednesday orrrrr thursday and im hella-pissed. yesterday we saw dan and he was staying after and adam was bringing us home so we talked to him for a little while :) :) :) :) :). i wannttt toooo seeee himmmmmm. he better be able to come to the movies, i will bring him to my house and have my mom bring him too if i have to. BITCH. mmmmmmhhhmmm.. so yeah, today shire comes up to me and tells me that joe was there last night and he was upset cuz tom didn't show up and it was his birthday, me and sara are wicked pissed cuz we miss him and want to see him, and we ALWAYS miss him!. grrrr. so last night, since we couldn't go out sara came and sleptt ovverrrrr. before i talked to her, i called adam and got to talk to ross :) :) :) :) :) :) :). i miss him so much. :-\. then i talked to sara, and she was really hyper, i was all :-\ cuzza the whole ross thing, but she made me happierrr. and then we made plans and she slepttt overrrr.. fun fun fun. we talked to sean on the phone for a while and made him spill the beans ;-). hahaha.. so anywayysss we are going to the movies tonight, hopefully with dan, and going to see the grudge :). then adams picking us up and we're bringing dan to contempo so that he can try it out and stuff.. since last friday he didn't want us to leave and he was asking why we had to go and all thatttt. then we're bringing dan home and sleeping in the trialer. tomorrow is danielle, ryan and andrew.. and the halloween party <333. that should be tons of funnn. :) :). then sunday is trick or treating with sara!!!!!!!!! woooooot! CANDYYY!. sara wants me to write that its halloween everyday cuz she brings me candy and juice boxes everyday, and now she questions on why i wrote that she wanted me to, but i just did it cuz i knew she would question me :). MISS SMITH BITES THE BIG ONE. mmhmmm. (she was reading this so i had to make fun of her :) )